Gone Are The Days...

Man is a social animal……well so is a woman, said a Gen Z girl.

Gone are the days when women were told who they’d be married off to, needless to say it was an imposition much less a choice. Today’s women are far more vocal about their choices, they expect to actively participate in the decision making process to choose a life partner.

Parent’s choice or their own choice, question is WHAT WOMEN WANT?

Human beings are not gadgets with trendy specifications to cater to newly created needs, they are companions in the quest for life. Each person has a different perception of what an ideal partner might be but truth is no one can draw a sketch of who they want to be with. In the journey of life we meet people, we walk with them for a while and that is when we know for real what makes us happy and what is it that we can’t stand? No matter how good a checklist a person comes up with, compatibility is a practical issue and not a theoretical question.

In order to sound ideal a lot of women project a checklist with virtues like trustworthy, handsome, rich, funny, patient, loving, caring, honest and so on but when they actually meet a person for real it’s not the checklist that plays its part, it’s how that person makes them feel. Love and companionship is experienced not described, which is why mature men and women seeking real happiness never seem to carry lists of what they want. They are sensible enough to understand each person is a different identity, what keeps relationships going is respect, acceptance, forgiveness and loyalty and not a predefined well enacted list of virtues. Yes, each person operates with certain principles and values and has a certain vision for life which is why one must spend time to assess with heart, mind and soul before taking life altering decisions.

Having said this, the question arises if the solution to our complex lives is really this simple then why is it not practiced as much as it should be. Why do women still prefer to reach heights of paranoia when it comes to being with another person or selecting who their partner would be? May be the key to this is hidden in the fact that women are genetically programmed to think emotionally, while men are programmed to look for logic. When logic and emotion confront each other complexities arise but when these too complement each other, an ideal relationship or association is achieved.

Adding to this dilemma is the burden of varied and confused expectations women carry, they want to be independent yet not being looked after disappoints them, they want to be strong yet they’ll demand exemptions from the slightest inconveniences in the name of being a woman and so on. Womanhood is not a privilege it’s a state of being just as manhood. But the whole role is glorified to such a pedestal that women seem to be confused if they are burdened under this glory or feel victimised for being a woman and thus they are turning into confused rebels deliberating between pride and sympathy.

Our society is going through a transition phase and this brings with it a conflict in thoughts, expectations, needs, wants and happiness quotients. In the fast paced world people are drifting away from happiness and forgetting the real needs of a being. This holds true for both genders but because women tend to be affected by myriad things and that too emotionally more than logically, the implications on their expectations are far more complex which translates into ‘Not’ knowing what women really want.

At the core what each one of us wants is peace and joy but the entire life journey is planned seeking possessions and that’s how women tend to evaluate the men they may want to associate with i.e. ‘a man who can provide for me’ and not a man who can keep me happy and help me be at peace.

Women need to be at peace within themselves only then would they be able to find peace and satisfaction in their relationships. Chaos breeds chaos, a negative, confused, restless mind will only confuse people around and unfortunately the women of our society are going through an identity conflict. So until the internal conflict is resolved, who knows who the ideal ‘wo-man is for the women of today?’